Here are some suggestions:
1. Conduct strip searches. No health risks from x-rays, no need for pat downs, and no images not to be stored on computers and leaked to the internet. All you need is a flash light and a very observant set of eyes.
2. Designate official traveling garments. Easily removable slip-on shoes, gray skin-tight clothing with no pockets except for a special clear cover slot for your I.D. and boarding pass.
3. Require TSA agents to wear clown suits to keep everything light-hearted and to stop them from taking themselves so darn serious!
4. Once people are on the plane, handcuff them to their chairs to make sure no one can hijack the plane.
5. Install machine gun turrets near the cockpit. Just in case.
Okay, here are some serious suggestions:
1. Reject the notion that “random searches” translate into increased security.
2. Emulate the successes of Israel. Practice common sense profiling, hire behavior specialists to briefly question every passenger, and check passengers that do not pass initial screenings.
3. Be honest with the American people. Stop telling us that we have to give up privacy in order to ensure our security when the TSA’s own assessment tests consistently miss almost half of security breaches. Feeling safer does not make us safer.
4. Lose the attitude and stop treating passengers as if they are criminals. A little respect and common courtesy would go a long way.
5. Airports have the right to opt out of TSA screening in favor of private security after a two year period. Do it!
My suggestion: Let’s swap the duty assignments for the Border Patrol and the TSA. Maybe we could with all those TSA “agents” we could slow down and inconvenience persons actually breaking the law!